January 1st, 2012 2011, you were a good year. After the perpetual kick in the face that was 2010, you were a huge improvement. (Though I’m not sure if that is saying much.)
In 2011, I started using my wrist again and stopped being such a hermit. I got more organized(ish), worked more and volunteered more. I had loads of fun times with Dan, Ursula and my friends, including the best beach trip ever. We got bikes and ride around together.
I realized I need all over hair color and eye cream. I almost never get carded. I spent a lot of time in yoga pants, but tried to step up my wardrobe when I went out. I am still bad at accessories. I try to remember lipstick, with middling success. I buy cuter shoes and wear more cardigans.
I went from a semi-”I sort of remember how” knitter to an actual knitter. I made 6 hats, 2.8 scarves, 2 sweaters (dog and baby) and 2 socks. Plus some other stuff that is in varying degrees of completion.
I redecorated Ursula’s room. I spray painted lots of things. After months and months (and month) of deliberating, I finally picked out a new duvet cover for our room. Rather than bristle at our little bungalow’s size, I have fallen back in love with our little house and all the ways I can make it work for us. (But I won’t pass up another bathroom!)
I watched Ursula grow several inches. She’s blossomed from a fairly shy 1st grader into a confident 2nd grader. This time last year, she was debating continuing dance – now she dances 3 hours a week and talks about being in toe shoes in a few years. We’ve had lots of talks, including *the* talk.
I spend lots of time with Dan – just hanging out and having fun. Changes at his job have been good things. I am so excited about our upcoming 15th anniversary, and happy and proud of the life we’ve made together.
I feel like I have grown and thrived this year. I worked hard on not being cranky and not sweating the small stuff. I don’t know that I was wildly successful, but I am so much happier when I let stuff go. It’s taken a long time, but in my 35th year, I learned a lot about who I am. I finally feel like I am defined by *me* and not everyone else’s ideas about me. I am strong, confident and happy.
And that is my wish for 2012 – to be happy. I will surround myself with the people I love. And it will be great.
2012 – I am so happy to meet you!
Happy New Year, everyone!
December 26th, 2011 Warning: you may need to avert your eyes.
Because we have just one child, for many years our Christmas cards were all Ursula, all the time. She protested and wants everyone on them. So we’ve tried to mix it up the last few years – 2009 featured all 4 of us, 2010 was an Ursula pic with a cameo appearance by Trixie. This year, we were due for another family shot.
On our beach trip (in August!) we took lots of family shots on the beach. We are not a glamorous flowing white dresses on the beach sort of family. There is something about the beach that transforms me into a person who wants to twist my filthy hair into braids and wear tie-dye t-shirts with pigs on them. (It is hardly my fault that Piggly Wiggly is awesome). And it is in this spirit that we took our Christmas card photos. Minus the t-shirt (this is important!). These pictures were very explicitly taken for our cards. There were zillions of shots and poses. Our names were written in the sand with the year. These were *Christmas Card Photos*. And we all knew it.
Fast forward a few months. Somehow, because our pictures were done over a month before summer ended, in my mind “cards are done”. And that was sort-of true – a decent photo is a HUGE part of making the card. (Maybe not as huge as it is for others – I almost always do a custom layout so it’s a little more work than dragging a picture into a TinyPrints layout). Anyway, I coasted on this “cards are done!” bliss for a good three months. Then suddenly, it was Black Friday and I was sitting at our friend Michelle’s breakfast bar, and OMG – we had no cards!!!
A photo was chosen from the set and edited. A layout was thrown together. Well, maybe not thrown – but it was pretty hasty. Of course, with our beach picture and the pretty beach, we didn’t want a lot of adornment, just a simple greeting. I give you the card:
So, I am pretty happy with it’s simplicity and fun factor. And also because it was DONE. And, last but not least, I ordered 100 of them for less than $30 from Costco. Total win! Until I showed it to Ursula.
“But – you are wearing….” Listen, I know. I get it. My stomach is showing. But for a 34 year old mom, it is not so bad. (I hope). And again, this card is clearly about us having fun and loving each other – not how we look. Case in point: my hair. Anyway, I just point out that we took the pics for the card, and they are what we have and blah blah. Because there is NOT time for a different picture. Then in a masterful feat of backpedaling, Ursula claims it is NOT about what I am wearing but she is concerned because I “don’t usually wear my hair in braids”. Well, I also don’t usually wear a hat and I wear shoes and I shower. And she wears pants. But that is not really the point!
We get past it and I send the cards, but I will tell you – an 8 year old’s disapproval is HARD and it weighs heavily and I was a little ugh about the cards. But, the picture makes me think of happy fun times, so I send them out. As is usually the case, the reaction is… NOTHING. Because no one ever cares about Christmas cards (well, untrue – I am sure people do but no one voices it), which is the whole reason I was happy I spent $30 and not a billion hours on these to start with. All is well. Until Christmas.
On Christmas, I was (as I always am on Christmas) sick. It was not a pretty day, I am pretty sure my hair was filthy and I was wearing one of my 3 striped shirts that I wear pretty much every day. At least I was wearing cute shoes. As we were saying goodbye, an older relative* says “Oh Melissa, you look so beautiful today”, which was somewhat touching because I did NOT. But before I can say “oh, thank you!”, the relative follows that with “not like how you looked on your Christmas card. I always keep them every year and display them but NOT THIS YEAR”.
So, then I was very upset and worried that all 80 people on our list think I sent a skanky card. And then Dan told me that this relative mentioned it to him to AND another relative also said something (but that was more inappropriately lascivious than disapproving). Point being: future cards will be Ursula only. Or me in a parka (and also pants).
* I am keeping this person nameless, but will say that it was a distant relative on my side of the family (NOT a grandparent/grandparents spouse).
December 21st, 2011 Discussing the Azaria Chamberlain case with your child (yes, we’ve already reached the “wildly inappropriate conversation” level of Christmas break togetherness) may get you a response such as “I don’t know why those cops didn’t believe a dingo would eat a baby. Dingos are carnivores.”
Oddly, this conversation happened BEFORE I heard the case was re-re-re-re-opened.
December 9th, 2011 She may be in a uniform, but gosh darn it, she will have it accessorized to the max – Missoni (Target) headband, dog earrings and wolf necklace. I’m sure there’s a slapwatch on her person, but it’s not pictured.
December 7th, 2011 For years, we have had Elf of the Shelf angst. I freely admit that I think they are creepy. And when Ursula was younger and wary and elves were a new thing, I may have sort of fed into that a little lot. I didn’t scare her, but when she was like “ooh, weird” – I was like “I know – it IS weird to have an elf LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE AND WATCH YOU!”. And I still stand by that – I’m not above a casual “Santa!” reminder, but in general I don’t really do punitive and/or stalker-ish parenting strategies.
Fast forward a few years – elves become more and more popular. More and more of her friends have them, even people who swore they wouldn’t. There is a degree of “if Santa loves you, you will have an elf” among the 5-6yo set, which makes me more anti-elf. And she is still all “ugh!” and completely disinterested in friends elves. Or perhaps even terrified. I believe there was some refusing to enter a room where an elf was going on.
Last year, even more kids have elves. And they talk about them more and more. This year, I fear that she is going to be the only second grader without an elf. She starts mentioning elves with curiosity, but swears she doesn’t want one. I initiate many conversations – Santa doesn’t want her to be the only one without an elf. Her friends all have elves, Santa wants to send her one. We need to let Santa know, we can’t get jealous and decide we want an elf mid-December, blah blah. We look at elves in the stores (not entirely sure how elves are sent by Santa but are ALSO in stores, but she doesn’t seem bothered by this). She is steadfast – she does NOT want an elf in our house. There are a litany of reasons, but suffice it to say, elves are bad and creepy and she is having none of it.
My friends swear she will LOVE it, and some suggest I agree to an elf, but she has been SO anti-elf. We watch the Elf of the Shelf Christmas special, which I swear was directly written to children like her – it’s about a kid who thinks elves are weird and creepy but then he realizes they aren’t. (Truly a piece of marketing genius). She is unmoved. Unmoved to the point that I find myself describing her as having an “icy heart” around noon on Monday.
Apparently, her ears were burning because she hopped in the car on Monday at 4:10 and informed me that one of the 2nd grade classes has an elf. And guess what? It is a girl elf with a skirt! And she is not creepy! She is sort of cool! “Ursula, do you want Santa to send an elf?” Well…. She thinks it is too late for Santa to send an elf. I agree to email Santa to ask (since he HAS offered to send one). She wants me to ask for a girl elf, but I tell her it is far too late to be picky. The email is sent.
Lo and behold – yesterday morning, an elf appeared in our house! It is even a girl! (Rumor has it that Santa had to visit FOUR elf dormitories before he an elf girl who was available to fly to our house). Ursula has named her Astrid, and she is beloved. Like I cannot even express how beloved. She talks to Astrid all the time and keeps her appraised of her every move. Astrid stayed in one place all day yesterday, but apparently, she CAN move if no one is home to see her move. So – we’ll see what happens today.
December 1st, 2011 I missed Ursula’s first dance open house this fall (helping sick sister-in-law), so this was actually the first I’d seen Ursula dance since her recital in May. Wait – there was a modern open house for her summer session, but that was very different.
Anyway – it had been 6 months since I’d seen any ballet. She had the summer off, but this school year she’s gone from a one hour class once a week to 90 minute classes twice a week. It is a huge change – she carries herself differently, her flexibility has increased and I see changes in her body – she is a *dancer* now.
She is working SO hard and doing a great job. I was absolutely blown away.
Warming up.
She is spotting and turning here.
Cool down (also, I need to do better with her hair!)
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Cast of Characters
• Melissa. 34. Mom, not nanny. Or sister. Kindle addict. Wanna-be knitter.
• Dan. 45. Dad extrodinaire. Engineer type. Makes me listen to music.
• Ursula. 8. Writer of funny stories. Clone of Dan. Practically perfect in every way.
• Trixie. 4. Avid chewer. Constant companion.
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