Dystopian Distress

I went to see “The Road” this morning. It is an *excellent* movie. It is also depressing, gut wrenching, haunting and the most disturbing thing I have seen in a long time (or ever). I saw “Precious” two weeks ago (which was also depressing, upsetting and horrible), but now it feels like a romantic comedy in comparison.

After leaving, there was much conversation in the parking lot about how depressing it was, what did this mean, why did this happen, what would we do. Blah blah blah.

(Note – unless you have zero clue about what The Road is about, this doesn’t have spoilers. And if you seriously have no idea what The Road is about, chances are you wouldn’t go see it anyway, so read on.)

Wanting to feel empowered, I called Dan:
M: What are you doing?
D: I am at the coffee shop.
M: Oh. So, if you are every in a dystopian post-apocalyptic world with cannibals, please kill Ursula rather than making her walk all around and starve.
D: Okay.
M: Good. I am glad we are in agreement.
D: Oh, I wouldn’t actually do that (then why did you agree????) We would go to the top of a mountain and I would fight off anyone who tried to get us.
M: That is a very bad plan*
D: Well, I would have a vat of boiling water on the mountain and pour it down on people trying to come up.
M: Where would you get boiling water on the top of a mountain?!?!?!
D: Fine, some other hot liquid.
(Yes, because clearly, my issue with that plan was about the water and not about the vat, boiling or pouring.)
M: I don’t think that is a good idea.

* While I didn’t elaborate, some reasons include: Where would you get food on the top of a mountain? What kind of shelter could you find? The weather would be harsher! Seriously, like you would be the only person with that idea! (Actually, maybe you would be, since it’s a bad idea and all). Could you seriously fight off roving cannibal gangs with weapons with your bare hands? How could you ambush people? Also, there is not exactly a mountain in our back yard, so there would be much dystopian hiking before you’d even get there.

So, basically, I am super hoping that Ursula is never in Dan’s care in a dystopian world. I did call Lisa (who was – of course – my movie date) and we have hammered out a survival plan. Which I will not detail because in a dystopian world, you are on your OWN. (Dogs will NOT be harmed.)